I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
