you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
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