as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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