Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
