they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
NoShamevember. You game?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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