honey bunches of taint.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
