Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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