I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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