I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I got chris browned last night
from now on my penis is your penis
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize