Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
