it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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