the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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