fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
