I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
