there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
