Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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