Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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