The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Randomize
