Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
what the fuck happened to the tacos
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
