I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
So vagazzling was a success
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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