I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I look better un-naked...
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Randomize
