all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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