Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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