Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
