If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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