I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize