1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
try to milk me bitch
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