i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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