I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
