so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize
