The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
