high people should be assigned attendants
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
