I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
