Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
