she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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