Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
