If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
