Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize
