Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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