so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
