She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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