she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
