the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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