yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
