yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
