I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
