ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
They have beer where we have blood.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
