did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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