AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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