I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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