I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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