Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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