Whats the glycemic index on semen?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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