My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
