I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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