i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
